|The scenery is beautiful in Southern Utah. If you listen closely enough, you're bound to hear some poor dog yelping as he or she hangs on for dear life in the back of a pickup.
Hello Operator. Can you get the number for the Humane Society of Utah?
You know, theyíre the good folks who help find homes for pets of all kinds especially during these tough and terrible economic times. I mean, people many times actually leave their pets behind when they move.
Or in some cases, they actually turn the pets loose letting them fend for themselves. Worse yet, some people who donít abandon their dog might be committing a worse crime.
You see, as a visitor in Southern Utah, I keep seeing this horrifying sight every time we journey to Godís Country. So help me, I swear I have discovered what actually seems like a status symbol when it comes to males in Southern Utah.
First, every male in Southern Utah must have a pickup which is actually a very cool thing. Every truck manufacturer from General Motors to Chrysler Corp. and Ford should be filming testimonials in Utah considering that everyone from the guy working at the corner gas station to physicians drive pickups.
Then, these guys add two more elements one that is kind of Davey Crockett-like; and the other that is absolutely inhumane.
First, these Southern Utah guys mount a gun rack in the rear window of their trucks. If youíre a sales consultant working at a car dealership in Southern Utah, you could make a fortune selling gun racks on the side since every truck in the Beehive state has a rifle of some sort.
But operator, the gun thing doesnít bother me. Kind of reminds me of one of the old-fashioned frontiersmen. You know, the scene with covered wagons and hearty souls journeying across the country during the worst of weather conditions.
Operator, I can deal with the gun racks and the weapons so big the gun barrels are sticking out the side windows. And when these guys have American flags hanging from their trucks, itís the most awesome example of red-white-and-blue that youíll ever see.
Almost reminds me of the infield of any NASCAR race in the country. Throw in a six pack of beer and a barbeque and youíve got a picture-perfect and patriotic setting.
Operator, what bothers me about these guys and their trucks is what they put in the back of them. You see, virtually every truck in Southern Utah has some poor dog in the back hanging on for dear life as the driver attempts to set land speed records.
And so help me, these dogs are all left without any kind of safety restraints. I mean, while Hot Rod Harry may be strapped in better than anyone who has ever ridden in the Space Shuttle; these poor dogs are given less respect than some guy on Death Row.
I mean, while the guy is running his full-blown Ford at Mach I like he's taming the road course at Watkins Glen, I swear there's a dog in the back with the look of "Why me?" on his face.
Itís bad enough that dogs are being left to fend for themselves in the backs of pickups, but when I see flat bed trucks with dogs in the back I want to flag down the driver and see what planet he is from.
Look, can you imagine what is going through the minds of some of these dogs? If nothing else, the dogs are as sure-footed as any animal on earth, for Godís sakes. After seeing hundreds of dogs riding in the back of trucks, I must say that I have yet to see one fall out of the truck.
Not long ago, we visited Best Friends Animal Society in Kanab where every possible animal on earth is saved from despair. Problem is that Best Friends canít keep up with runaway trucks and their terrified furry friends.
Operator, I swear that the number for the Utah Humane Society is going to be busy when I call. I canít possibly be the only person who has noticed that many dogs in Southern Utah donít get their due respect.